What God Did With A Desire

As I sit here with the front door open, the sunshine streaming in, watching my puppy sleeping outside, I catch my breath and my heart leaps a little. If you have never been a dog lover, you might not understand. But if there has ever been anything in your life that you didn't really need, but had a deep desire for anyway, then maybe you can relate.

You see, I really shouldn't have this dog. I have been an animal lover all my life. Not just a little, but a lot. My grandma had a farm and I loved riding the horses, finding kittens in the hayloft and playing with the sheltie puppy. We even raised a baby raccoon on a bottle one year. I always wanted to be a horse jockey and ride in the Triple Crown. And one summer I worked for a vet, thinking maybe I could go down that road in my life.

I don't really remember a time without a dog in my growing up years. Lady, the springer, was around when I was a baby. Missy, the terrier mix was the dog we had in grade school.  Tiffany, another springer, was my companion in high school.  And the Christmas before I started dating Dan my parents brought home Tess, a cocker, to surprise me. When Dan and I started dating in May, I fell in love from the start, but having found the love of my life, I realized that I had to give up my love of dogs if I were to spend the rest of my life with Dan. His asthma just couldn't handle it. So Mom and Dad kept Tess, and I moved to Dubuque to be near Dan and I never really looked back.

Not until a couple of years ago, when I no longer had babies or toddlers and everyone was in school, did I begin to remember how much I had enjoyed the companionship of a dog. I even checked out what breeds were considered the most hypoallergenic and tried to convince Dan it would be okay. But his allergist had told him to never let me bring home a dog, and having seen his asthma attacks in the past, I really didn't want to put his health in jeopardy. However, the longing was always there.

When we moved to our new house a year ago, the desire resurfaced. We now had 2 acres in the country with plenty of room for an outdoor dog to roam. But by this time Dan was convinced a dog would tie us down and he wasn't ready to make that kind of commitment.  So as with any desire I have had in life that wasn't a need, I gave it to God and told Him He could do with it what He wanted. I believe that in a marriage, decisions, especially major ones, should be made together. It would be of no benefit for me or my marriage to stubbornly go against Dan's wishes and bring home a dog, even if I disagreed with his thinking.

The Bible says godliness with contentment is great gain, so that is what I strived for, to be content with the many blessings God had already given me.

Then came our vacation to Oregon in August. The home we stayed in had 8 week old labs and my kids fell in love.  Dan and I loved watching the boys wrestle and tumble with the black balls of fur. The old desire got resurrected once more, especially when I saw Dan enjoying his kids having so much fun.

I already wrote about what took place after that in my previous blog. But what I didn't write is what this event in my life has meant to my heart.  You see, I have always believed that God will provide what I need and have come to recognize when something is just a "want". God is in no way obligated to fulfill my wants. So I have learned to acknowledge in my prayers when something is just a desire and not a need. I will sometimes ask for the desires of my heart, but let God know that my happiness is not dependent on these desires ever being fulfilled. He is enough to make me feel complete and whole. He is the source of my joy.

The Bible says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I have come to learn that this means when I am so enthralled with who Jesus is, that my desires change and begin to line up with his desires for me. I love this verse because it is the secret to being content.

So when God answered my prayer for a dog, it came as such a huge surprise when He answered, that it has taken me the entire week to comprehend what just happened. What just happened wasn't a human decision or change of mind. What just happened was God choosing to give me something that I only wanted. Something totally unnecessary, something maybe even a little impractical. Yet in His love for me this whole thing has almost felt like getting a bear hug from Jesus. Because it truly is a miracle I have a dog today. Seriously, there is no way my husband's mind changed without the influence of the Holy Spirit. Getting a dog sounds like an event with no spiritual aspects, but for me it has become a whisper from my heavenly Father that He cares about my longings, even the ones that have no eternal value. How humbling, how wonderful, how unbelievable! And now you know why my heart leaps looking at Sugar. I am not in love with her. I am in love with my God!